Hoe

Since I moved into “The Hell Hotel” my life has been turned upside down. Demons have been tracking and stalking me. They've bugged and cloned my phone. They've even intruded on my dreams at night. I've been praying to my Almighty God for them to go away, to find some true villains to put under– not me. I am not the person they are trying to make me out to be. 

In this world everything is upside down. Good is bad and bad is good. My stalkers’ identity is a mystery to me thus far. All I know is that they are evil to the core. They are true devils who have turned me into the villain. I hear their voices in my mind and through my devices. They persist in calling me a “hoe” A hoe. They constantly comment on my scent and my every move. The voices are Latino, Black and white. This would be laughable if it wasn't so detrimental to my reputation. Finding a job now would be impossible. Bottom line-- they wish me great harm.

White ass Sarah Jessica Parker gets paid tens of millions of dollars to portray a middle aged single writer with a serial body count that would make Dr. Ruth blush. In fact, Sex and The City is one of the most successful franchises in television history. 

I'm a middle aged Black female writer who was blacklisted 25 years ago with a severe chronic illness. I don't get the same allowances as Carrie Bradshaw. For me there are no Prada or Jimmy Choos.

It's sort of like a supernatural experience. A metaphysical head game. Everyone around me is on a different wavelength than me holding a hi-tech secret. Y'all are trying to judge my mental fitness as I peruse through each day trying to figure out my next move out here all alone. 

All of Northern California has been turned against. My anonymity is gone. I don't know what's worse. The public has apparently been told I stink so people are always up on me to get a whiff, invading my personal space. I'm certain I'm being recorded and they have developed some type of high-tech way to smell me through my own nose and devices. They even hate for me to have my natural pheromones present. To them that's stinking, too. 

I shower daily, most days twice. I'm a creative, and artist. I am not consumed with smelling delicious all the time. Steve Jobs was notorious for his b.o. but that's not how he is remembered, now is it? What i smell like is irrelevant. I am deserving of respect simply by being a human being. This human zoo I've been put in is cruel and inhuman. They cry over beaten animals but have no empathy for others. 

They say you haven't made it until you're very well hated. I'm just wondering where my check is because a lot of people are putting in man hours and I'm penniless here. I plead for the Black brothers and sisters who I've ridden for since my journalism days to step up and blow the whistle on this conspiracy to malign me to insanity or death. I'm not a cautionary tale. I am a life and my potential is yet to be determined.

Y'all think I'm living too good. Little do you know that it costs the taxpayer 3 times as much a month to institutionalize me than for me to pursue happiness in the free world? Why should I rot in an asylum when I can be free? You call me a hoe because I can still pull ‘em. You watch my intimate moments, invading my privacy, while you revere Kim K. Give me a break. What kind of a hypocrite are you?

They hope I kill myself or get Sonya Massey'd 

(say her name). She was a Black mother who called the police for help after hearing a disturbance outside her abode in Peoria, Illinois. She also struggled with mental illness and experienced auditory phenomena. One of the arriving officers was a demon who got triggered by her prayer to God. She was as good as dead from calling on Jesus in the face of a devil.

They're justifying my cancellation on my being a “musty little wench.” A “slut.”  A "hoe." There are no better at being judgemental than your own. Then there are the Latinos still bothered over a piece I posted about Black-Brown unity being a myth, later retracted and apologized for posting even though I'm part Mexican. 

I long for the Obama Era when people knew how to mind their business and have compassion. Since the Trump Era reemerged I haven't had a real private life. Y'all think I'm living too good because I have a nice air fryer and an array of spices (I heard the voices talking about that one day). Too easy breezy for someone who's disabled.  

If you really knew what I've been through you'd treat me a lot better. In the last 5 years alone I've been institutionalized, incarcerated, car jacked, abducted, had the manuscript to my memoir stolen, a machete held to my face, a knife pointed to my eye, shoes stolen off my feet, put out in the middle of the night, given a black eye, made homeless, et cetera. Let's just say I've not been treated like the queen that I am. 

All y'all can say is "hoe" and “you stink.” Shiiit. The real hoes are on E. 14th and y'all should know that. However, demons have laid the groundwork for my early demise. I will fight for my life to the bitter end because despite all the name calling I desire to live. Suicide will never be the case. So, you are stuck with me and I am stuck with you. I am hoping for a more harmonious union. Grown folks don¹'t name call, its rude. Be a grown up. If you smell me, congratulations, you smelled a queen. Go home and write about it.