Tuesday, June 3, 2025

How I Became Infamous in Oakland

I love Oakland. It's the only real chocolate city on the west coast. It vibrant, diverse and musical. I walk the streets, catch buses and BART (our local train system) finding beauty in nooks and crannies I wouldn't expect. We are proud of our intricate murals, plethora of cafés and being a town by the bay that sits on the Pacific Rim.

As beautiful as it is in the Bay Area I've seen a side so ugly that it has caused my blood to boil. I've been slandered.

This occurred to me yesterday when everywhere I went people had an aversion toward my very presence when usually people are indifferent; urban dwellers care less. I immediately knew that the reception I was receiving had something to do with the women who I lived with in The Program. 

See, I have depression that is often affected by the seasons. It has disrupted my life in many ways, particularly when I was was off my meds. At one point, a couple years ago, I had to seek long-term hospitalization. I was well after a couple months but I had no where I could afford to go. 

That's where Ann Wright comes in. She came through my unit one day. It was the first time I saw her. She was a tiny, mahogany lady, her has covered by a white, cone-shaped mask. My case manager made the introduction. She offered me a bed in her home. It was a board and care, more or less. I jumped at the opportunity to regain my freedom. 

I moved in October 2023. There was a motley crew already inhabiting the Foster Hoover 2-story salmon colored house. The upstairs mainly designated to women however, there were several men on the upper floor with us. I was sure I could find a room for rent within a few months so I decided to make the best of it.
One of the first things I was saddened by was that we were only given a 2-hour window to shower everyday. If you missed that window you were assed out. She was quite adamant about this rule. Also, we were not allowed to color our hair. She said it could cause damage to the counter top and floor. 

The first meal was crab burgers. Little did I know that we'd have Frankenfood for every meal. I got a little dependent on Doordash to have good tasting food. It was expensive but what can you do...

I was able to work a phone bank job last election cycle, informing citizens about a number of propositions. I squirreled some cash from that.

This March I had the opportunity to move out of the trap and into Old Oakland. I was accepted into an affordable housing unit. With the help of some loved ones I moved in one day. I hadn't been more happy in 10 years, since my mother was diagnosed with stage iv colon cancer. 

I received a greeting card in the mail for my birthday from my old roomies on 30th Street. I put it on display in my new crib. 

A month or so has gone by and I was loving my new neighbor when I noticed something odd. I crossed into Chinatown and noticed that people damn near ran away from me. My first thought was that the new government was trying to discredit me with lies and half-truths. The word around The Town is that I'm a fat prostitution that smells bad. I knew who my opp was-- Cristina Grappo.

I met her the first day I became a part of what I later learned they called The Program. She was the medication dispenser. I didn't hold her stringy, blonde hair and badly built body against her. Those thick, alabaster ankles no one would ever want to rub. The fact that she thought like a adolescent and dressed like one, too, was never a concern of mine. Her pants slide off her backside because she has no ass. Even at my lowest points there I kept to myself.

It didn't take long for me to discover that this woman was retarded or as they say now developmentally challenged. She believed herself to be President of the United States. She would even order her Starbucks under the name President Cristina. She would only cross the streets in the crosswalk. When she sang at med time it was always a silly tune a kid would repeat. 


When it was clear that our mayor would be recalled, Cris told us she wanted to run for the mayoral seat. She asked for my signature to help get her on the ballot. I obliged. Little did I know that she would attempt to infiltrate the Democratic Party as I already knew that she was a Republican. She watched tons of Fox News and wore MAGA hats around the house. 

So, now I'm famous in Oakland but not a way that any person would like. What she has done to me is completely disgusting. I am far from a prostitute. I enjoy a healthy sex life. Yall all enjoy the Sex and The City franchise but when a real life black woman is simply dating she is a "slut" and a "whore." You could drive a Tesla through the hypocacy.


So, I'm beating her ass, one way or another. The President should prepare for litigation. You see, we are basically the same age, I just carry the Eve gene and she's a whole troglodyte. Her jealousy and envy got the best of her and I am requiring she give me a public apology, as well. I'm a good person doing God's work and I don't deserve to be lied on.



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